Self-Editing on a Penny: A Comprehensive Guide (Format, Grammar, Write) by Ashlyn Forge

Author:Ashlyn Forge [Forge, Ashlyn]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Reference & Test Preparation, Writing; Research & Publishing Guides, Publishing & Books, Writing, Editing, Reference
Amazon: B00V7OT6B2
Publisher: Ashlyn Forge
Published: 2015-03-25T05:00:00+00:00

Barry, Barry, Barry! Did your reader (date) need all that dumped on him/her before the salad even arrived?

Mini-data-dumps and long blocks of text with little dialogue aren’t all that effective—especially when we get carried away to when the character was five years old. Why should the reader care?

Suggestion:

Barry caught the next baseball before it struck him in the face. The crowd fell silent. At that speed, catching a ball barehanded should have hurt. Everyone stared at him as if he should react with less calm.

Handing the baseball over to the catcher, he tried to smile under his over-sized batting helmet. He gripped the bat again and took a wide stance.

“Let’s go,” he said, chalking this up to yet another inexplicable bruise to add to all the others.

When he thought of the fact that his family no longer asked and he had no girl to explain himself to, he swung with all his might.

“Strike!” The umpire announced.

Two more balls flew his way and he struck out miserably. His body might not feel pain, but his pride definitely took a hit.

He lumbered back to the dugout, all eyes on him. The first time he’d seen those expressions, he was five and he nearly drowned. The other players now wore the same look of confusion and worry his uncle had after dragging his very alive body from that water. He’d been a freak back then, too.

Throughout his life, he’d had to hide his strange nature. Sometimes he’d forget to act normal. Today he’d messed up big time. This wasn’t like work where he’d burn his hand on the fryer by mistake and could hide it. People had seen.

“Another great year of high school, here I come,” he grumbled as he flopped down on the bench. Other players inched further away from him.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.